Unmasking

Embracing Your Autistic Identity: Unmasking for Emotional Regulation and Authenticity

As an autistic occupational therapist, I've found that fully embracing and proudly showcasing my most autistic traits and special interests has been a powerful strategy for improving my emotional regulation and living more authentically. Here's why I believe leaning into your autistic identity can be so beneficial:

Understanding Your Autism Diagnosis

Receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult can be a profound, life-changing experience. After years of feeling misunderstood, out of place, or even defective, finally having an explanation for your differences provides immense relief and validation. An autism diagnosis offers a new lens through which to view your life experiences and a language to describe your unique way of being in the world.[3]

However, post-diagnosis feelings are complex. Along with relief often comes grief - for the years spent struggling without support, for the misunderstandings and missed opportunities. You may feel anger at a world that failed to recognize and accommodate your needs. Allow yourself to feel all of these emotions. They are valid and a necessary part of the journey toward self-acceptance.

The Unmasking Process 

Many autistic people, especially those diagnosed later in life, have spent years "masking" or "camouflaging" their autistic traits in order to fit in and meet neurotypical expectations. Masking is an unconscious survival strategy, but it comes at a high cost. Constantly monitoring and modifying your natural way of moving, communicating and processing the world is exhausting and demoralizing. It disconnects you from your authentic self.[1]

Unmasking is the process of letting go of these learned behaviors and rediscovering your organic autistic ways of being. It starts with understanding your needs and honoring them unapologetically. Give yourself permission to stim, to avoid overwhelming sensory environments, to communicate directly, to pursue your special interests with joyful abandon. 

Unmasking also means allowing the world to see you, quirks and all. Share your special interests, even if others find them strange. Let your body move in the ways that feel good to you. Speak your truth, even if it's not what others expect to hear. Showing your authentic autistic self is vulnerable, but it's also immensely freeing.[2]

Cultivating Self-Acceptance and Authenticity

Unmasking is a continuous, non-linear journey. Some days embracing your autistic identity will feel empowering and effortless. Other days the weight of a lifetime of internalized ableism will feel heavy. Be patient and compassionate with yourself. Remember that you are unlearning decades of conditioning.

Surround yourself with people who accept and celebrate you exactly as you are. Find your autistic community, whether online or in-person. Being in autistic spaces where you are free to be your full self without judgment is profoundly healing.[3]

Engage with your special interests in ways that bring you joy and fulfillment. Autistic passions often lead to incredible depth of knowledge and expertise. Take pride in your autistic way of delving into topics. Your special interests are a strength, not a defect.

Above all, practice radical self-acceptance. You are not a failed neurotypical, you are a perfectly autistic person. Your brain works in wonderful, powerful ways. Embrace your autistic identity as an integral, positive part of who you are. Live authentically, in alignment with your autistic nature.[4]

Conclusion

Unmasking and embracing your autistic identity is a courageous, revolutionary act. It is a reclaiming of the self after a lifetime of being told to hide. By honoring your autistic needs, sharing your authentic self, and connecting with your community, you cultivate resilience, self-knowledge and emotional wellbeing. So unmask with pride - your autistic self is a gift to the world.

Citations:

[1] https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/reflections-on-unmasking

[2] https://weirdsensitivecreatures.com/?p=904

[3] https://reframingautism.org.au/discovering-your-autistic-identity-as-an-adult-what-next/

[4] https://www.altogetherautism.org.nz/pros-and-cons-of-getting-an-autism-diagnosis-as-an-adult/