When Demands Feel Dangerous: Understanding PDA and a New AI Tool for Support 

Introduction

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), a profile within the autism spectrum, is characterized by an extreme need for autonomy and a heightened anxiety response to perceived demands. This can lead to behaviors that seem oppositional or defiant, but stem from a place of overwhelming fear rather than willful disobedience. For parents and educators, finding successful strategies can be immensely challenging.

The Power of Collaboration: Inspiration for a PDA-Friendly GPT

Inspired by a professional development series led by renowned autism experts Dr. Tony Attwood and Michelle Garnett, I sought to create a tool tailored to the specific challenges of PDA. The result is a custom GPT (Generative Pre-trained Transformer) that assists in crafting PDA-friendly strategies on demand.

Understanding PDA: Why Traditional Approaches May Fail

• Autonomy is Essential: Individuals with PDA have an intense need to feel in control of their actions and choices. Demands, however well-intentioned, can feel like a direct threat to this autonomy.

• The Anxiety Spiral: This sense of threat triggers a fight, flight, or freeze response. The PDA individual's ability to think clearly and problem-solve shuts down, making it even harder to comply with the original demand.

• Language Matters: The way we communicate with a PDA individual is crucial. Direct commands or instructions can inadvertently escalate anxiety, even when the intended outcome is positive.

A New Approach: Declarative Language and Collaborative Solutions

The core of successful PDA strategies lies in shifting away from demands and focusing on:

• Declarative Statements: Instead of questions or commands, use observations, thoughts, and neutral statements like "I wonder..." or "I notice...". This invites the individual to think and engage without feeling like their autonomy is under attack.

• Collaboration: Treat challenges as problem-solving exercises. Offer limited but genuine choices to restore that essential sense of control.

Introducing the PDA-Friendly GPT

Understanding the principles of PDA-specific communication is one thing, but applying them in the heat of the moment can feel overwhelming. The custom GPT I developed addresses this. It takes a scenario and provides potential alternative strategies, always in the PDA-friendly style of declarative language and collaboration.

Example: A parent might input, "My child is refusing to get dressed for school," and the GPT would offer suggestions tailored to the PDA mindset.

Call to Action

If you're interested in learning more about this work-in-progress AI tool and how it could support families and educators, please visit https://chat.openai.com/g/g-nt0zU65RX-pda-translator

Getting dressed for school example in action https://chat.openai.com/share/5a0a1fa5-5bff-4284-a6e0-700e7e902fed

Important Note: PDA is complex, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. This tool is intended for assistance and idea generation, always in conjunction with the unique understanding you have of the individual.